The Tripod

I have been asked by you, my readers to shed a little light on my fabulous girlfriends.  I have had a really hard time writing this one – these women are so ridiculously special to me and they have done so much for me since my diagnosis (and prior to!) that I will never be able to truly express it in words.  I’ll give it a shot, but know that no matter what you read here, it will never fully encompass the love I have for my girls.

Let’s start with a bit of history.  I met K in the winter of 08/09.  We both worked for TD Bank (a job we have both since left to work oilfield jobs – yeah Alberta!)  Neither of us is exactly sure how we became friends but we think it started with an argument during a stressful day at work. Neither of us would back down (fiery east coast tempers!) and I guess that’s how we knew we would get along.  We started getting together occasionally outside of work and an amazing friendship blossomed. 

L worked for TD too – although she and I never worked together.  I met her through K.  I think our big bonding moment was a Tegen and Sarah concert in January 2010. We both loved the band and we both had a little too much to drink.  We had a pile of drunken feelings and then one of us ended up on the bathroom floor by the time the night was over!  And no – I won’t tell you which one of us it was!

We had ladies night after ladies night, many of which consisted of watching The Bachelor and drinking red wine in K’s basement, much to her husband’s chagrin (Thanks B!)  K and L came to be my uber-besties way before “bestie” was even a word.

  

We have a very childish TV habit.  Maybe this foolishness of ours is isolated to our social circle, but I highly doubt it.  Our Tripod tends to liken ourselves to any show we happen to be watching at any given point in time… You’re Melissa!  No I’m not!  You’re Karla!   You know what I mean, right?  It’s all extremes and no one is really one character or another to a T, but there are always similarities.

If we were Sex and the City (everyone’s ultimate classic!), K would be Miranda, L would be Charlotte and I would be Samantha.  K is the level-headed logical one, L is the pretty wifey one and I am the boy-crazy one (and the funny thing is that Samantha was the one to get Breast Cancer!).   If we were Friends, K would be Monica, L would be Phoebe and I would be Rachel.  K is the responsible one, I am the flirty one and L is the tree-hugger-hippie-clean-your-house-with-vinegar-and-have-homemade-rustic-looking-wedding-decorations one.  On our favorite Netflix sitcom Happy Endings (which by the way should NEVER have been canceled!) – I am Penny – single and clumsy and a little bit cray-cray (I am SO Penny – you need to watch this show!), K is Jane – type A obsessive and a little (alotta?) bossy and L is Alex – cute as hell but… I’ll stop at cute as hell (“I’m not as dumb as I am!”) 

Of course, none of us are the character to the extremes that they are in their given shows.  And there is no Carrie.  Or we are all Carrie.  Carrie is the ideal combination of all the aforementioned characters – including the ones from the other shows.  Carrie is perfect and therefore does not exist. 

But we do exist – and we are awesome!   K is the “mom” of our tripod – although she hates that we call her that.  She takes care of us all.  When I am faced with a difficult (or even simple) decision, she is my conscience.  She bases her life choices on logic and common sense and she keeps track of our schedules.  She works as an Operator at an international pipeline company (the first female Operator the company has had EVER!!  HUGE deal FYI!)  She is an insanely powerful woman working in a typical man’s job yet she still maintains a certain classy-yet-tough femininity.  She takes a lot of flak at work and handles it with strength and grace.  She organizes our girls’ nights, makes time for all of her friends (and she has many!) and plans date nights with her husband. She values her friendships and has a huge heart.  She is always right and bossy as f!@# and we love her for it.  We call her the Kelli-App because she always has it all together. L and I actually relish a little (but ONLY a little!) in the rare moments where she is less than perfect (i.e. she locks herself out of her house when going to a party a block away and has to call a locksmith) because it makes us feel more human.  K is a pro.  At everything she does.  Legitimately.

L is not (and neither am I!)  She gets pulled over regularly (and was once told by a cop that her life was a mess).  Her license / passport / health card / WHATEVER is always expired.   She may or may not have clothing in her car that has literally gone stiff with dirt.  If K is my conscience, L is like the little devil on my shoulder, telling me that my bad choices are okay, because I should just follow my heart.  She makes me feel human.  L is tough as nails, yet sensitive and realistic.  I can be baby la-la with her when I need to be emotional… which happens to me more often than I like to admit!  You know what though?  She too manages to keep it all together...splendidly!  She is a full-time student (and she is hard-core!  She got into U of Calgary for Social Work – one of 16 accepted from hundreds of applicants!  GO ELLE!!!!), works THREE jobs and makes a nice dinner for her husband most nights.  

L is the friend who will pet my hair and tell me I’m pretty when I am having a bad day.  She will make me macaroni and eat it with me in front of the TV if I am feeling sick or depressive.  K will make sure I have my shit together when it comes down to the important life stuff (like – what time do I need to be at chemo again?)  She keeps me strong and disciplined when I can't do it myself.  She will also lovey-dovey me if that’s what I really need (Legit – she has snuggled me to sleep while I bawled uncontrollably on more than one occasion), but her first instinct is to get me to toughen up – which I most often DO need from her whether I want it or not! K gives me a very special kind of friendship – she is really good at it too – she can find way to take care of me without making me too defensive (as is my nature) and I love her dearly for it.  The three of us treasure our time together.  We can be each other’s rock during hard times, and we can also be really silly.  I don’t think that anyone anywhere has ever laughed as hard as we do when we are together.  We laugh and we laugh and we laugh.

Neither of them will let me sit alone and depressed, even when I try to hide from them (and I do… sometimes a girl just wants to stay home and play sad!)  And they both have found time in their ridiculously busy lives to take care of me while I am having chemotherapy.  That in itself is mind-blowing… I will never be able to thank them for this.  Never.  It is so difficult to describe the relationship I have with these women.  We have so much love for one another.

I have always had a hard time accepting love from people and it was strange to me at first that these women loved me, despite my MANY flaws. It was as though I wasn't given a choice – they were going to love me whether I loved myself or not (and at one time, I really didn't).  I love them both so much… more than words. We each have a different relationship with one another and we genuinely cherish these relationships.  We also have a very special three-way relationship with each other.  Ours is a friendship that is rare and timeless.  Our bond with one another is truly indescribable.  I will never be able to fully put into words how much these ladies mean to me. We are more than friends - We are sisters. We are family.